Q&A Miss MIA

February 19 2015 Rhona Raskin Family, Marriage, Parents

Dear Rhona: My girlfriend of 4 years left after I moved my ill mom into the in-law-suite in our home. I worked hard – building us a home for her lovely kids. She was not willing to share my love for my mom, and was averse to my reacquainting myself with my older son. After three months of hell, I asked her to leave. I even co-signed for a house, guaranteeing to pay 39 months for her and the kids. My Mom went into in a nursing home 4 months later. We tried to get back together but I was numb and hurt after having to choose between my families. She knew my mother was a responsibility from the beginning. I would think that a woman would be proud of a man who would sacrifice some of his life to ensure that his mother would be treated well. She then told me she met someone new, and thought my request to continue seeing her 12 and 15 year old sons, whom I love dearly, was not possible. She didn’t think it was fair for me to have a relationship with the kids and not her.

–Broken Hearted

Dear BH: In yard full of pigeons, you are a peacock. Too bad your girlfriend can’t recognize that you are a generous stand-up guy. Perhaps she is one of those women who need wall-to-wall angst to feel alive. Of course caring for an elderly parent is taxing and lacks the excitement of a night out at the racetrack – but you are to be commended for being responsible and taking care of all your family business. Now that your Mom is in a care facility you are freer to pursue you own interests. Don’t waste too much time on Miss MIA. As for the kids – they are almost old enough to decide on their own relationships. Continue to send them birthday cards and small presents. I bet they’ll be showing up at your door in the next few years. In the interim, find a well-put together woman whose heart is as large as your own. No more rescue missions